avatarpabu97:

such-justice-wow:

theangrybi:

emoteddybae:

spacexualkids:

no offense but yall gotta stop acting like its the end of the world if a bi girl ends up with a guy

but then there’s no cute lesbian-ness and that’s what makes it so gr8

Bisexual women are not lesbians, and do not choose their partners based on how appealing they are to you, you gross fuck

Iconic post

Can we just exist without people being annoying and stupid?

amemait:

heywriters:

mbrainspaz:

mbrainspaz:

mbrainspaz:

talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”

he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.” 

wtf dad

latest edition: 

me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine. 

my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while. 

is your dad an ex-assassin

An ex-assassin who loved his mum. And his pony.

pastel-remedy:

op change your url this instant

crow–teeth:

crow–teeth:

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

shakescene:

shakescene:

my mom, turning up “we will rock you”: football babey!

me, internally: straight people think they understand queen which is cute

it’s gay pride darling

boarofthenorth100:

all-is-well-atwell:

boarofthenorth100:

boarofthenorth100:

Im So Smart

Ask Me Math Question’s I Gnow All The Answer

what’s 5+5, Horace?

Shut Up

eelpatrickharris:

cmder:

plantwiitch:

cmder:

i don’t post. i secrete.

Good secretion op

laughconfetti:

chasers17:

maxinbc:

puff-to-tuff:

royal-zach:

so in psychology class we got to learn why foot fetishes are so prevelant! basically your brain stores the structural information for your body generally in the correct order (i.e. the info for your ears is stored next to the info for the head, which is stored next to the neck, etc.) BUT. The info for the feet is stored right next to the info for the genitalia and so sometimes these two sections of information can overlap and make you wanna lick some toes

thanks, i hate it

Normally when y’all post this kinda shit it’s blatantly incorrect, but I’m angry to say that this one is absolutely factual

Structure your brain in a god honoring way

h0tbobby678246216433122y5164231:

onceler-birthing:

h0tbobby678246216433122y5164231:

getting pretty tired of people vandalizing the austin powers wiki

You know what. This post really unsettled me because back in like june or july i vandalized the austin power fan wiki and on austin powers’ page i changed his name to “Steve Harvey” and under his alias i put “Mr. Fuck” and other things. I think you know. I’m so fucking sorry hotbobby

and so the cheese draws out the mouse

cerastes:

Man I fucking love martial arts

transtlanticism:

this is genuinely the FUNNIEST thing i’ve seen all day